Countdown To Extinction
by Shadowgate
Summary: Rigby and his gang are joined by several allies in fighting to save the world.
1. Chapter 1

Countdown to Extinction

By Shadowgate

…

Rigby woke up late but it was okay because it was his day off.

Mordecai was playing video games. Rigby stepped outside because there was a huge thunderstorm and helped himself to a "shower."

When he got in and dried off with a towel he yelled for Mordecai and Mordecai responded that he was in the living room.

Rigby went into the living room and asked Mordecai if he still believed he saw a UFO two nights ago. Mordecai replied "DAMN STRAIGHT!"

Rigby gave him a look of irritation and then said "hey I got a letter from my friend Gumball."

Mordecai asked "how is it that you're over 21 but you're friends with that cat?"

Rigby answered "he's a cool cat."

Mordecai said "well okay."

All of the sudden there was pounding on the door. Skips was screaming and pounding on the door.

Rigby said "Goddamn it" and then opened the door. Skips said "Benson is calling a mandatory emergency meeting for all employees."

Rigby said "it's my day off."

Skips replied "well so what! Be glad the meeting is being held now and wasn't called at 5AM."

Mordecai said "damn right because 5AM meetings don't happen."

Rigby said "well I hope this one happens quickly and ends quickly."

After everyone showed up for the meeting in the park Benson got started.

"Alright everyone I know that over the past several weeks there have been reports of UFO sightings."

Rigby stood up and said "alright now this has gone far enough. Mordecai you and Benson are clearly in league because you all want to play a prank on me. Goddamn it!"

Benson yelled "NO RIGBY THIS ISN'T A JOKE NOW SIT THE FUCK DOWN OR YOU'RE FIRED!"

After that Benson talked about the secret arsenal the park had.

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Chapter 2

Countdown to Extinction

Chapter 2

By Shadowgate

…

Mordecai and Rigby went back into their living room.

Rigby said "I've never held a gun before in my life."

Mordecai had a 12 gauge shotgun and he held it the best he could. Rigby had a 357 and he continued "they say it's hard the first time to shoot someone."

Mordecai added "I don't know why Benson doesn't have us do target practice first especially if this so called race of aliens exist because they sound like they'd be hard to kill."

Rigby said "I'll bet there's no big alien race and everyone is just acting like a sissy."

Mordecai said "I don't think Benson would have exposed the secret bomb shelter full of weapons if this shit was fake."

Rigby just sighed and said "oh my friend Gumball sent me a letter I was going to read before Benson called a meeting."

Mordecai said "alright let's hear it."

'Dear Rigby

I don't know about your area but UFO's have been seen in mine the past two nights. Today U.S. Military vans were seen near my school. My mom is afraid and doesn't know what to think. I wonder if grownups are hiding stuff from me and my friends. I overheard a police officer talking to another adult about Gandolorions and I have no idea what they are.

Gumball Waterson'

Mordecai said "I heard tales of Gandolorions when I was a child."

Rigby snapped "you never shared those stories with me."

Mordecai shot back "well I'll share information with you now since now you're beginning to believe the UFO sightings are true."

Rigby said "well what the fuck are these Gandolorions?"

Mordecai answered "if they're real we're in a big load of fucking shit how's that for starters?"

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. Chapter 3

Countdown to Extinction

Chapter 3

By Shadowgate

….

"Okay Mordecai here's what I don't fucking get. They know the Gandolorions are seeking to kill all of us. There have been sightings. Well okay why doesn't the military move on those sightings and blast them. Whatever happened to the basic rule of intelligence, get them before they get you?

Mordecai said "oh that's really 1980's Mordecai."

Rigby yelled "what's wrong with the 1980's? Hey in the 1980's when bullying got out of hand finally a baseball bat would be taken straight to the bullies' mouth and he'd lose teeth. That bully never gave anyone a hard time again. Oh but if that happened today with all the zero tolerance crap the bully would be declared the victim. The baseball bad would be under fire. Class action lawsuits would be filed against companies that made baseball bat makers. You'd have to be 21 or older to by a baseball bat and have a license. If you sold a baseball bat to someone they'd have to go through a background check as well.

Mordecai laughed his ass off.

Rigby fell down as well.

"Mordecai you can't see Ronald McDonalds on television anymore because he's considered a bad influence on children. McDonalds can't have him in their commercials anymore because it's believed he's responsible for childhood obesity. Well hey Batman will be banned as well if a bat was used to subdue a bully. Oh man moms will have a one million bat march. The Joker will get the biggest laugh yet from all this"

Mordecai said "Rigby you're a politically incorrect son of a bitch I'll give you that."

Rigby commented "GODDAMN PROUD OF IT!"

All of the sudden big lights are seen coming through the window.

Mordecai said "they're here."

All of a sudden the song Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a Planet near Mars began blasting.

Rigby and Mordecai didn't know what to think.

TO BE CONTINUED


	4. Chapter 4

Countdown to Extinction

Chapter 4

By Shadowgate

…

The Gandolorions had landed on earth and they were ready to wipe out all inhabitants.

Benson informed Rigby "if you fail to destroy the Gandolorions you are fired."

Rigby replied back "if I fail to destroy the gandolorions I'll be fucking dead Benson."

Benson pointed out "you will also be fired from working at this park."

Mordecai pointed out "we'll all be fucking dead but it's so unlikely we'll lose. We've got the US Military, the navy, the FBI, numerous local law enforcement groups, and many more. We can't lose even if they have that fucking monster with them."

Rigby said "we've got the Teen Titans and the Steven Universe Gang so the Gandolorions have no fucking chance whatsoever."

Benson said "well good then you'll both still be alive and you'll both still have a job."

In one hour an alien hunting force known for being only parasites were extinct because they took on too many enemies.

THE END


End file.
